The danger of comparison

August 16, 2019

Janice Stone

We won't be distracted by comparison if we are captivated by purpose. Bob Goff

Have you heard the phrase, "comparison is a killer"? Let the strength and clarity of that statement sink in for a minute.

Comparison is something that destroys, kills, terminates, and is extremely difficult or unpleasant. That definition as a noun or verb is fully fitting to the outcome of the comparison of ourselves to others.

Our longing to handle life "perfectly" keeps us bound up trying. Jill Savage

I have caught myself comparing my journey and skills to others so very quickly and easily. It is almost natural. If it wasn't for the fact that I now know my why, my purpose, I am sure I would still be actively comparing myself to everything I desire or everyone I admire. It is truly amazing that in our culture we fight for equal rights and equal pay, yet we constantly compare ourselves to others. Seems a little off balanced to me.

Why is comparison such a killer, and how do we avoid it?

When we compare, we are rarely comparing apples to apples. We tend to compare ourselves to someone who is a great speaker, a beautiful singer, very attractive, or popular, and appears to have many friends and close families. At least that is what we think we see.

We see things as we are, or out of our eyes and perspective. We have no idea what is going on in the background or how they got to where they are. We compare ourselves with someone who has been speaking for over 20 years and want to be a speaker "just like her". We don't see all the times she spoke and mixed her words up, or forgot her talk,  sounded unprofessional, or had a wardrobe malfunction. We have no idea what she struggled with, or how hard she tried to get to where she is, or how many fails it took to help her develop her skill. We look through our own eyes, or lens, and capture that image for ourself.

Don't compare my middle with your beginning. Rachel Hollis

We have no right to consider where we are right now and then compare it with someone that has been working at it for many many years. Our unfair comparison leads us to frustration, discontentment, and insecurity. That is why comparison is a killer, because it steals our joy, our passion, our security, and our confidence. The struggle to be a version of perfection just leaves us tied up trying to be that version of ourselves that we were never meant to be.

Let's not even talk about (well maybe for a second) social media and how easy it is to compare ourselves with all the perfect pictures that are posted. What we can't see is the background and behind the scenes of the pictures. "Never judge a book by it's cover" they say. I have some photographers in my family and I know that not only are pictures often posed, but then they are edited to look the way the photographer wants them to look. Posts can even be scheduled - so you can post about an event you haven't even been at yet!

We each have been made with divine design. We have been made on purpose, with a purpose, and for a purpose. When we are clear on what our unique life purpose is we can live it with clarity and confidence. Because we know who we are made to be and can appreciate others for who they were made to be. We see the beauty in diversity and can support and encourage one another.

Have you found yourself comparing yourself to what you see, or perceive, in others?

Have you identified your why?

Are you confidant in your own life purpose?

I have discovered my voice as I have identified my purpose. The more I know my why and my purpose, the less I desire to be the same as others and the greater my confidence. It gives me clarity in empowering others and equipping them, by using my voice to help live boldly. I can share from my own struggles, and talk about what I have learned and how I have grown.

Our journey is our journey, given with a purpose and for a purpose.

I am captivated by my purpose and have the confidence to live it with intention - one choice, one day at a time. Let's kill the comparison and ignite the purpose.